2009: A Year That Was

Kd, Kd, Kd :)
Started with the Masters Program for Marketing.
Days with the Lord weekend.
My 21st birthday. (highlight: KD SURPRISED ME!)
Summer beach trips!
Slipped. BIG TIME.
Moved from Sony to Robinsons Land.
LEARNED A LOT IN THE JOB.
Quota quota!
Ondoy and Pepeng super typhoons combo.
The family decided to finally build a new house because of Ondoy.
(construction will start middle of next year)
Found new love and appreciation for Thursday Club.
I found love in a dog, Bruno.
'Stay-over' turned 'overstay'. I LOVE IT.
Ups and downs, downs and ups.

..and it goes on.
2010, here I come :)

Most times.

I must admit that I amuse myself by imagining and thinking of alternative realities --how it could be, how things would be. The things which are closest to reality and the things that stand at the farther points. Am I the only one who does this? I wonder sometimes. Slash that. I wonder most times.

Crap

Every single day, she wakes up early.
She works hard, she's honest and loyal to her company.
She has been doing the same thing for the past 20, 30, maybe 40 years.
She earns enough to pay her bills and feed her children.
She pays her bills on time. Always.
She pays her taxes, also on time. Always.
She saves every peso that she could possibly save.
She is not superwoman, she gets sick.
But even with this, she wakes up early and goes to work.
She'll take the bus and then the train and then the jeepney.
It's crowded but she carries on with a smile.

She will still be doing this everyday for the next 10 or 20 years.
She works hard, she was never late, never absent.
But when she stops, almost instantly, she and her family will be hungry.

Her honest and good intentions does not deserve that.
She deserves a break.
She deserves to enjoy the remaining years of her life.
She has worked for more than half of it anyway.

Hayhayhay

Tired of getting into the backseat.
Literally and figuratively.

Tanong lang:

Anong feeling pag pinakawalan mo pa yung sakto?

*&@^%@$!#

Memories and thoughts at this time of the night aren't the most preferred ones.
It's so hard not to think and feel.
It's so hard not to ask and wonder sometimes.

I wish I could remember how to forget.
To just not ask and wonder.
To just let things go.
How I wish.

Me, a little at a time

I gave a look.
Gave time to talk.
Gave time to know.
I gave time.
I made a commitment.
I gave up my pride.
I gave honesty.
Not so perfect --I gave pain, angst and hate.
I gave love,
care, hope.
I gave my mind.
I gave my heart.
I gave my soul.
Now, I give myself.
I am able to give all of me again.
A little at a time.

Utopia.

I dream of a world where everyone can walk the streets without fear of losing their things to strangers.

I dream of a world where literally, we reap what we sow.
Where farmers, carpenters and all sorts of laborers that work all day get as much as they've given through blood and sweat;

and where.. Well, those sitting in expensive, comfortable chairs inside air-conditioned rooms get only as much as the effort they give to flick their wrists to sign their expensive signatures on paper.

I dream of a world where fairness and justice is not so far away. A world where these two words are not just concepts used when the election spirit is in the air.

I dream of a world where there is equal opportunity for abundance and success.

I dream of a world where the color of your skin does not dictate your destiny; a world where the praises of faith that you chant does not give reason for others to assume that you can cause harm.

I dream of a world where the true kindness of man has no reason to not manifest; a world where man, as naturally kind as he is, does not ever have to face circumstances for him to resort to committing sins against his brothers and sisters.

I dream of a world where expression of one's self is embraced with compassion; where individuality is respected and delighted in as it should be because it is the core of every human being.

I dream of change.
I dream a utopian dream.
I dream, I dreamed.
And I will continue to dream.

Last.

For the last time I will apologize.
For the last time..
I am sorry I hurt you,
I crossed the line and it cost me your trust,
almost your love.
I did not care, I was not thinking.
I was not myself.
Looking at how things are now,
how much you love me, how you are with me,
how we are--
nothing and no one will ever be enough for me to lose you.
Nothing.
No one.

Strawberry Swing*

Now the sky could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time

Could be blue,
Could be gray
Without you I’m just miles away