2009: A Year That Was

Kd, Kd, Kd :)
Started with the Masters Program for Marketing.
Days with the Lord weekend.
My 21st birthday. (highlight: KD SURPRISED ME!)
Summer beach trips!
Slipped. BIG TIME.
Moved from Sony to Robinsons Land.
LEARNED A LOT IN THE JOB.
Quota quota!
Ondoy and Pepeng super typhoons combo.
The family decided to finally build a new house because of Ondoy.
(construction will start middle of next year)
Found new love and appreciation for Thursday Club.
I found love in a dog, Bruno.
'Stay-over' turned 'overstay'. I LOVE IT.
Ups and downs, downs and ups.

..and it goes on.
2010, here I come :)

Most times.

I must admit that I amuse myself by imagining and thinking of alternative realities --how it could be, how things would be. The things which are closest to reality and the things that stand at the farther points. Am I the only one who does this? I wonder sometimes. Slash that. I wonder most times.

Crap

Every single day, she wakes up early.
She works hard, she's honest and loyal to her company.
She has been doing the same thing for the past 20, 30, maybe 40 years.
She earns enough to pay her bills and feed her children.
She pays her bills on time. Always.
She pays her taxes, also on time. Always.
She saves every peso that she could possibly save.
She is not superwoman, she gets sick.
But even with this, she wakes up early and goes to work.
She'll take the bus and then the train and then the jeepney.
It's crowded but she carries on with a smile.

She will still be doing this everyday for the next 10 or 20 years.
She works hard, she was never late, never absent.
But when she stops, almost instantly, she and her family will be hungry.

Her honest and good intentions does not deserve that.
She deserves a break.
She deserves to enjoy the remaining years of her life.
She has worked for more than half of it anyway.

Hayhayhay

Tired of getting into the backseat.
Literally and figuratively.

Tanong lang:

Anong feeling pag pinakawalan mo pa yung sakto?

*&@^%@$!#

Memories and thoughts at this time of the night aren't the most preferred ones.
It's so hard not to think and feel.
It's so hard not to ask and wonder sometimes.

I wish I could remember how to forget.
To just not ask and wonder.
To just let things go.
How I wish.

Me, a little at a time

I gave a look.
Gave time to talk.
Gave time to know.
I gave time.
I made a commitment.
I gave up my pride.
I gave honesty.
Not so perfect --I gave pain, angst and hate.
I gave love,
care, hope.
I gave my mind.
I gave my heart.
I gave my soul.
Now, I give myself.
I am able to give all of me again.
A little at a time.

Utopia.

I dream of a world where everyone can walk the streets without fear of losing their things to strangers.

I dream of a world where literally, we reap what we sow.
Where farmers, carpenters and all sorts of laborers that work all day get as much as they've given through blood and sweat;

and where.. Well, those sitting in expensive, comfortable chairs inside air-conditioned rooms get only as much as the effort they give to flick their wrists to sign their expensive signatures on paper.

I dream of a world where fairness and justice is not so far away. A world where these two words are not just concepts used when the election spirit is in the air.

I dream of a world where there is equal opportunity for abundance and success.

I dream of a world where the color of your skin does not dictate your destiny; a world where the praises of faith that you chant does not give reason for others to assume that you can cause harm.

I dream of a world where the true kindness of man has no reason to not manifest; a world where man, as naturally kind as he is, does not ever have to face circumstances for him to resort to committing sins against his brothers and sisters.

I dream of a world where expression of one's self is embraced with compassion; where individuality is respected and delighted in as it should be because it is the core of every human being.

I dream of change.
I dream a utopian dream.
I dream, I dreamed.
And I will continue to dream.

Last.

For the last time I will apologize.
For the last time..
I am sorry I hurt you,
I crossed the line and it cost me your trust,
almost your love.
I did not care, I was not thinking.
I was not myself.
Looking at how things are now,
how much you love me, how you are with me,
how we are--
nothing and no one will ever be enough for me to lose you.
Nothing.
No one.

Strawberry Swing*

Now the sky could be blue
I don't mind
Without you it's a waste of time

Could be blue,
Could be gray
Without you I’m just miles away

It's just you now.

Yes, just you :)

You and I

We'd give forever our super kaduper bestest shot :)

C'mon

It's coming.
I can feel it.
The heat will turn on again.
This time, I will hold on to it longer.
For as long as I could.
I will seize the opportunity.
It's coming. I just know it.
It's here.

Do you too?

I tend to stay where I am or keep on doing what I do
even if it's not working anymore because sometimes..
I just don't know any other place to go..
or know any other thing to do.

Breakdown, J. Johnson

But you can't stop nothing
if you got no control
of the thoughts in your mind
that you kept and you know
you don't know nothing
but you don't need to know
the wisdom's in the trees
not the glass windows
You can't stop wishing
If you don't let go
of the things that you find
and you lose, and you know
you keep on rolling
put the moment on hold
the frame's too bright
so put the blinds down low

Breakdown, J. Johnson

Totally Yours.

Totus Tuus

The next ink is coming.

Yes, really.

You can never be too good at something.
There is always something to improve.
Always.


And...
It's funny how much better things got after just a year.
Where I am now is better than where I was standing exactly a year ago.

Everyone's got to keep something

I will never wish for any memory to be erased
I must admit though that I wished for that during certain points in my life
But come to think of it,
I would always choose to keep every memory
Even if there are memories that bring back pain..
I'd never want to lose any of it

I just know

I look at you,
I hold you,
I feel you
and I know.
Every word that's left unsaid,
every reason that cannot be justified,
every unreasonable excuse

Each one suddenly makes sense

*%$&!@*%&$#

So why did I do it?
I could offer a million answers, all false.
The truth is that I'm a bad person,
but that's going to change,
I'm going to change.
This is the last of this sort of thing.
I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on,
going straight and choosing life.
I'm looking forward to it already.

I'm going to be just like you:
the job, the family, the fucking big television,
the washing machine, the car,
the compact disc and electrical tin opener,
good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance,
mortgage, starter home, leisurewear, luggage,
three-piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food,
children, walks in the park, nine to five,
good at golf, washing the car,
choice of sweaters, family Christmas,
indexed pension, tax exemption, clearing the gutters,
getting by,
looking ahead,
to the day you die.

Renton, Trainspotting

Certainly

I am unsure about a whole lot of stuff right now.
Work and life and whatnot.
Except for one thing:
My ever after would be perfect with you.
Most certainly.

January 27, 2009

"Skipping beats, blushing cheeks, I am struggling.
Day dreaming, bed scenes in the corner cafe.
And then I'm left in bits, recovering tectonic tremblings.
You get me every time...
One of these days, you'll miss your train
and come stay with me.
We'll have drinks and talk about things,
any excuse to stay awake with you.
You'll sleep here, I'll sleep there
but then the heating may be down again
at my convenience.
We'd be good, we'd be great together."

Jan. 27, 2009
5:19:28 pm
-You

Can't think of a title

Some things work for some people.
And some things just don't.
So I think that it's sort of safe to say
that the pursuit of happiness is like trial and error.
We try things and if it works for us,
then good.
Otherwise, we move on and find something else,
see if that one works.

Quite a Quiet Night

Nothing beats the disorientation that waking up in the middle of the night could bring.
The silence is deafening that it starts to hurt.
The eeriness carries with it nostalgia that's beyond belief.
I hope I could just fall back to sleep.

E is for:

Everything.
So what is everything to you?
Everything to me is all that I've held
And all that I am now holding.
The people, the thoughts, the words.
Conversations, songs, things.
Memories. The painful ones,
the great ones.
The feelings, sensations.
All that seemed surreal.
What's E for you?

....

I woke up my head was sore.
My heart's not mine anymore..

The...

Scientist.

Not In the Best Condition

Right now..
Well..
Old habits? They die freakin' hard.
And honestly, it sucks that I always catch myself going back to how I used to be every time I feel that I cannot handle things properly.
I escape to how I used to be.
Do things to somehow escape reality.
Do things to emancipate myself from my own doing's slavery.
Work is well, trust me, it is.
Everything else is well and I am grateful.
But I am flawed.
And it dawns on me.
The result?
I crawl back to the me that I used to be.
I have no better way of dealing with my being perpetually stained.
Right now, I'm flying.
Out here. Into a place where all is well --better than how it really is.

Treat.

Love may be overrated. Or not. As it was taken back.
Nonetheless, I love.
I will continue to love.

And then..

I gave myself a treat.
For a while, I stopped thinking.
For a moment, I let go of everything.
For a second, I forgot about everything.

Try it.
Just let go.
It feels more than great.

My Music. Your Music. Their Music.

I want my music to be played and listened to.
I want it to be known and understood.
You want yours to be played and listened to as well.
But what about their music?
What about the rhythm that their music can contribute to our lives?

Mattermattermatterrrrr

You'll know you've grown somehow when the things that used to matter so much, do not matter anymore. Or they still matter. But not as much as they used to.

You finally realize that there are more important things that need your attention.

Just wait.

If the things I want is meant for me,
then they'll come eventually.

The same applies to you in all probability.

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere
'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia chills me to the bone
But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because when I think of you
I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear,
Oh darling I wish you were here

Just a Thought

We all want different things for ourselves.
We want different things for our lives.

Darkness Fell

I wanna hear every breath that you say.

Huwaw,

What matters to you, it doesn't matter to them.
If it matters to them..
Well.. It doesn't change anything :)

Imma Be.

Roll with change :)

So I can't think of anything to write anymore.
Honestly.

But I don't want to stop filling these dates with entries.

Random thought: I hate colds.
It's so hot and I have colds. Great.

Another random thought: I miss my previous office.
I don't miss the job. I miss the people. Super.

Another random thought: My current goal? 1 close a week. At the least.

Another random thought: I HAVE TO START READING ABOUT UAI.
The result of the study is due in less than 2 weeks. Woah.

C'mon.

(E)

I want to be your (E)cstacy.

Br_ken

Nobody can play on broken strings.
I caused broken strings.
I'd fix what I can fix.

Just for me.

The face that you show the world will always have me in it.
Behind it. Just at the background.
But there just the same.
Well at least for now.

:)

Leap of faith.

It's going to be worth it :)

Nothing Like You and I - The Perishers

We spent some time
together walking
Spent some time just talking
about who we were
You held my hand so
very tightly
And told me what we
could be dreaming of

There’s nothing like you and I

We spent some time
together drinking
Spent some time just thinking
about days of joy
As our hearts started
beating faster
I recalled your laughter
from long ago

There’s nothing like you and I

We spent some time
together crying
Spent some time just trying
to let each other go
I held your hand so
very tightly
And told you what I would be
dreaming of

There’s nothing like you and I
So why do I even try?
There’s nothing like you and I

You are..

The color.
The movement.
The spin.

KD is..

My ever after.

Change

Don't ask for change. Make it.

YOU. Yes, you.

Mind your OWN business and you'll find your peace ;)



-Thank you for this Sir Anlex!

Sorry

"I love how you kiss,
I love all your sounds,
and baby the way you make my world go 'round"

Sorry - Buckcherry

Whatever, Angg.

So as unbelievably unbelievable as it is,
the Angg experience is the real-est that it can get.
And also the most.. Whatever.
And the most irritating because it is insanely effed up and complicated;
But sadly, it just won't go away.

And I honestly want it to be fixed but I don't know where to start.
And I don't want to cause anyone pain but it just reaches that point every time.
And I say don't settle for second best but that's exactly where I am headed.
And people keep talking and my ears are figuratively and literally big so I hear them even if I don't want to.
And I say they don't matter but honestly, they do.

I just want to be deserving of that perception of that real-est experience you'll ever get.
I don't want to be the mistake that resulted from the risk you took.

I can't.

Bounce

Where do I start picking up the pieces of what I broke?
How I wish everything just bounces.
But they don't..
So yeah, I'll just pick up the broken shards of glass from here.

I AM...

Different

The rain no longer brings tranquility.
It brings something else.
At least for me.

Quote-unquote

"Vector south, crashing at the speed of light."
-Jecko

.

Had i waited just a little longer..
Do you think we'd be alright again?

**

My empty promises could really hurt people.
BIG TIME.

--------------

I cannot say no.
Not to you.
Do know that anything with you will never be just nothing.
You know who and what you are to me.
In your best and in your worst,
I'd see you the same.

Be Mine

Would you like to be my one and only?
My ever after?

FACT:

The only thing that's constant is change.
I want change.

Q&A. Oh, no A.

Is it just me or does self-preservation bring out the worst in people sometimes?

This is it.

In the future, this is how I'd want my wings to be.

Photo c/o Kd.

B, M, K, J, D, C, G, P.

There will always be people in our lives who will look up at the night sky with us. No matter how weird it'll make us look, they'll look with us anyway. Like this guy here.. And the few people I have in my life who'd be willing to do the same with me.

Thank you guys :)

A-

Why do we settle for second best when we know we all have a shot at the best?

Something + out of the -

You know what's so great about getting sick?
(I know, there is something great?)
Yes, there is something good about getting sick.
Because for a while, the world stops.
No, not the world,
I stop.
For a while, the world continues to spin and I am not in it.

New Place to Run:

Your arms.

Life:

Child.
Adult.
Then..
Die.

Worldly Things =P~

Money makes the world go 'round.
What do you think?
I want a money tree.
I want a lot of things.
Seriously.
But I want this one the...
MOST :))

I want this:

I super want this. Wah.

Think

We're not better than anybody.
Let's just put it this way..
We're all.. Different ;)

Don't Cross..

..the Angg line. Haha.
Hands-off.


Please?

****

There is always something to hide.

Just As It Is

Take things as they are.
No buts, no ifs.
Just as they are.
I think life will be better.
A little easier perhaps?
I think I should try.

A View of the Future

I see us.
This is how it'd be years from now.
We'll be taking different positions in different places.
We will probably be better, more mature.
We will be good for each other. Better for each other.
The best.
And we will do and have great things.
Yes, from where I am standing,
it'd be like that.
Ever after.

In and out

Do you get the feeling that you're walking along a very thin line?
The line is sanity.
On either sides, insanity.
And then as you walk, you feel yourself leaning towards the left and the right.
I feel like that sometimes.

Seems like I'm slipping in and out if sanity.
In my efforts to keep my balance,
I lose it more.

Does. Doesn't. Does it?

What I do when everyone is looking
is not as important as what I do when nobody is watching..

You see,
true colors appear whenever no other sets of eyes are waiting so eagerly to judge.

For the nth time..

The people who matter don't mind
and the people who mind don't matter.

Change

It will not be data sheets and time cards for long.

O_o

Look at something not as what it is,
instead, look at it as is.

What if

..that one soul is the only one who can break you?
Over and over and over again.

..out of the billions, the one you chose breaks you?

Gone

The perfect day is gone
I hope I just closed my eyes earlier

F-d.

When will they ever stop wishing they've got their hands on you?
Don't answer that.
F-k it.

Too Small

The wide window is not enough to show everything outside
I guess it's also important to walk out and look around
I will not be able to see everything just by standing in one place

Question:

What do we do first during this lifetime together?

:)

Dreamy Monday

Daydreaming.
Speechless.
Breathless.
My mind is floating.
I am here and not here.
I am there,
with you.
Like yesterday.
And the day before that.
In a trance.
Nothing makes sense.
You. You make sense.
Just you.

Itsybitsyteenyweeny

It's too small.
Not funny anymore.
Or maybe it is funny.
I dunno.
Crazy, small world.

Charmed

I believe in the sand beneath my feet,
between my toes.
The beach gives me a feeling,
an earthly feeling.

Parang kanta lang e noh.
:D

Here I Am Again

I am leaning on another being again.
Trusting of course, with my entire existence,
that this time, she will not let me fall.
This time now, and ever.

Thrill

Thrill of the chase?
I am no longer a fan of that.
I prefer..
The thrill of what tomorrow can bring,
of how tomorrow will be with you.

Stagnant?

Not for long ;)
I will not stay on the same spot for too long.

Pagong

Yes, it's been a long time since the time I was.. Well. Yeah.
But you know, I still care. I always will. You know how I am.
I will always want and wish the best for you.
I want you to be happy --absolutely happy.
For me, you deserve the best.. as everyone and anyone deserves.
I don't know how to reach you now,
I don't know if I will ever be as close as I was close before,
although of course, I was never close enough,
I don't know if I will ever be able to make..
my presence, my existence, my being.. felt by you.

Now as you go through the things that life will bring you,
do know that there will always be one person that will be here for you.
Or at least wish all the best for you.

Turtlefreak, I will be that person.
Wishing and hoping for all of your dreams to come true.
Whether I am near or far,
I will always be the person you've known and will always know.

Defined.

Kd:
Breathtaking.
Real.
Crazy.. in a good way.
My exact opposite
..my perfect match.

Umaaraw, Umuulan

My mind's like the weather today.
Malabo.

Song for the day: Hot n' Cold.
Perfect.

Ha!

Heavy breathing.
Pulse is rising.
Beads of sweat.
Started slow.
Going fast.
Faster.

We are..
running.

Pleading

There has got to be more to the 'real world' than this.

Whoa

Self-control ceases to exist whenever you are around.

Memory

I love the loss of memory sometimes.
The flashing scenes are all that's left.
Tampered memories to cherish;
like puzzle pieces being searched for.

Tranquility

rain = tranquility
One rainy day, we talked and you said that.
See? I don't forget.

Mine

You are my twisted sunshine.

Grabbed

Grabbed and taken.
Sealed in a world that can allow to see the outside.
A fairytale that does not leave out reality.
How else would I wish things to be?

Irony

We both drowned because of the same reason,
not together,
not at the same time.
But the same reason altogether.

May Day

My May starts today.
Just MY May.
Gawd, I'm crazy.
Crazy happy inlove :D

No Bending

I do not need to bend the pieces until they fit.
They fit perfectly. Effortlessly.

**Nothing else follows**

Thank you.
That you let me go.
That you taught me that I can never be too sure about anything.
That complacency should not be an option.
Thank you.

**Nothing else follows**

Snap

'Snap back to reality.
Oh there goes gravity.'

So the realization that not everyone is meant to be close to me sinks in.
Funny how life teaches these realities in the subtlest of ways.

Try

I should see with my eye,
not perceive with the mind.

It's April 20!

420 day!
Haha.
***

I Wanna be Close - Avant
'I wanna be your sun, your stars and your moon'

Soholiiiiid.

The memories aren't right anymore.
I don't want to remember.
I don't want to care.
I don't want them to be a part of me anymore.

I can't help it.

Wake Me Up

Closed my eyes.
Scientist was playing: .."Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry. I had to find you, tell you I need you, tell you I set you apart."
Telling myself I'd still light up the sky for you. Let me light up the sky for you.
You have my attention like a scream through a silent sanctuary.
Kismet --I'd travel for two hours to bring Butterfingers.
Hello. Goodbye.
I turned.
And when I was about to say I love your every color, your everything --I woke up.

I want to stay awake.
I don't want to close my eyes anymore.
I cannot afford that.
Not now.
Never.

Proof

This line is a proof that I am a walking contradiction:

There has got to be more to life than this.

Figure it out.

Again

I've said it before and I'll say it again.
The people who matter don't mind,
and the people who mind don't matter.

Read On..

Read on..
Through every entry.
If it hits you, it could probably be for you.
;)

Once.

Once upon a time you became someone I just used to know.

Words?

Words are not JUST words.
They do carry a lot of weight too.

Just Wondering

If the circumstances were different --would you come back?

Surreal

Surreal.
Beyond words.
Death cannot be as real until it stares you right in the face.
Until it takes someone who has been a part of your life.
Painful. Not unfair, nothing to be angry about.
Just painful.

Pain

And sometimes..
All that's left to do is to accept.
No matter how painful and unfair and whatnot.
Just accept.

Lightning Fast

It has been a year since last April 3.
A year has passed.
Another 1.
It's all too fast.

Contentment

A state wherein one is happy with what is his.
I am in that state.
No more asking.
Just living.
"He who is content will always be rich".

So..

Thought of the day:
"What's the point in all of this?
Nothing's going to change."

I Say

This is it.
Odd? I don't care.
No one will ever be worth more than she does.
No one will ever be as worth it.

Yes and No

Yes, I forgive. Completely. Wholly. Entirely.
No, I don't forget. Never.

Sorry

I'm sorry if I let my mind carry me too far.
Sorry if I let fear get the best of me.
Just hold me close.
And don't let go..
Let me hang on to you.

Super Weekend :)

Party.
4th month.
Birthday Eve.
Birthday morning.
Spent with KD.
Couldn't ask for more :P

Don't Answer.

What is more inevitable than death?

Finally

I feel that I am enough. Thank you.

A Life...

...with you is definitely something worth looking forward to.
...with you is indescribably worth living.

Incredibly Unincredible

Right about now,
the funk so bravo.


Fear is eating me up.

Gawd.

;)

However far away,
I will always love you.

Ayeeeee.

Not That.

I do not believe in happily ever after.
Although I believe in ever after.
And yes, that's ever after with you.

BIMK.

Tanggap lang ng tanggap :)

Different Similarity?

"Same Difference" sounds better.

But it's just not the same difference.
It's a different similarity.
Ah, whatever. Stupid.

Same stuff, different person.
No hanging of frames on another person's wall,
I know.
But I just can't help it.

Nagpapatong talaga.
F*ck it. F*ck this.

Just Questions. No Answers.

So why exactly am I where I am now.
Why do I step in and out of happiness.
Like consciousness.
When you hit your head or something.
In and out of consciousness.
In and out of happiness.
There will always be something missing.
Lacking.
And it sucks because I just keep on asking what that might be.
And obviously, I do not get answers.
Anyway.
Do we ever get answers to our unwavering questions?
Were we ever meant to know why, what, and how?

Aren't we all?

Does anyone really take everything seriously?
I mean, aren't we all guilty of settling for mediocrity one way or another?
Or..
Maybe I'm just making myself feel better because I'm like that.
Whatever.

I Nevvveeeerrrrrrrr

..promised ever after to anyone.
NOT
until about a month and a half ago.
And last night.
And..
I meant it.

Promo

Happiness good until supplies last.

Popular Belief

Contrary to popular belief,
I am not inlove with love.
I am inlove.

*Haha, Beb, mahal ko talaga e ;)

Tralala.

Things don't always have to make sense to be beautiful.
Like this one.
You, me, us.
Simple.
Beautiful.

Mmm

I honestly and seriously believe that I am the last of my kind.

Mmm.

Not Now

Not the best time to look into those eyes again,
not the best time to feel that touch,
no, not now.
I cannot see that smile.
I still cannot afford to hear that voice.
Not just yet.
Gawd.
Not now.

100% sure

Staying?
Yes.
Probably? Not just.
Definitely?
Yes.
Definitely staying.

Realization:

This one now?
It's different.
I know I said "it's different" many times already.
But this time,
"it's different" is different.
I can feel it.

Hear Here.

Your Universe [High Quality] - Rico Blanco

Now

Right now, things are going well.
More than well, actually.
Wouldn't know if it will be the same tomorrow.
What's important is what is here now.
I'm happy now.
Hope against hope,
I'd still be happy tomorrow.

Your Universe

'I don't think that you even realize the joy you make me feel when I am inside..
Your universe.
You hold me like I'm the one who's precious,
I hate to break it to you but it's just the other way around.
You can thank your stars all you want but I'll always be..
The lucky one.'

Your Universe, Rico Blanco

Back to Kinder.

I've learned the simplest but the most important lessons in life when I was in kinder:
Say please and thank you.
Share whatever I have.
If somebody hurts me, always forgive.

The Other End

I look straight ahead.
Sitting up on this pretty comfortable chair.
I see the other end of the room.
I will sit there.
If not soon, some day.
The sooner, the better.
Or maybe I'll be in that end in a different room.
Under a different name.

Right Through

We've seen right through and underneath
and we'll make this better.
We're better.

Illusions

I do not need to let go of the past.
The fact that something or someone is already a part of the past
just shows that I am not holding that anymore.
Holding on is an illusion.
There is nothing to hang on to anymore,
it doesn't make sense.
The past does not exist.
It is as good as it never did.

5 Candles

You were there when I needed you.
You were there when the skies broke wide, wide open.

I Am

The bearer of unconditional things.

Meaning

It is a struggle to find it.
Although I've learned
that if I look closely, properly,
I will be able to see.
Now, I am staring straight into it.
The one I am looking for?
Probably. Yeah.
Could be.
Most probably.

Difference

To get tired of saying how I feel is alright.
To lose the urge to express and manifest the feelings that I have is...
Forgivable.

But for me to get tired of feeling altogether?
That would be a catastrophe.
I would rather feel pain than to not feel at all.
To feel is to know that I am alive.

Through and Through

Hit.
Through and through.
Hard on the ground.
Face down.
No blood, just a smile.
In the seeming endless irony,
I get to smile
my distinct smile.

Silence

Amidst the noise, the chaos, the confusion,
I will be your silence.
I will be silence.
When the world is too painful to take in
and listen to,
I will be silence.
Your Silence.

Craaaazzzyyy

So what do I do now?
I dunno, I dunno.
Jump jump. Hop hop.
Skipping skipping.
Skip a beat, skip a cue.
Missed the point of living life anew.

Pass to me that bitter-tasting herb,
pass that sweet, sweet sugar;
all it takes to complete the symphony
I've always been singing.

Got It

You got your point across.
Not going anywhere.
Trust me.

Your...

Clouds in the sky when you fly.
Solid ground when you come down.
Wind.
Sun.
One good thing.
One real Love.

Where Are The Others?

Where does the good go?

I have a piece with me.
Enough to make me complete.
Was just wondering..
Where the others could be.

Dandandandaaaaan...

I can be your sweetest dream,
your grandest nightmare.

A Dose of D.

And I open my eyes.
I wonder where I am,
then I remember.
Oh, right here.
For the first few minutes of the day,
it sinks, pushes me to sulk.
And then it washes itself away.
Allowing me to live through the day
with all the right to triumph.

Jump In.

Take the plunge.

Parang Nestea lang.
Yeah, parang Nestea lang.

I'll never know if I don't try.

So.. There.

I Might

If I'm the only one, then I might.

Toink.

What will I do with 10, 000 spoons when all I need is 1 knife?

TickTock.

The clock is ticking.
It won't ever stop.

And the moments are passing, gone.
Second per second,
minute per minute,
hour per hour.

A day. A day has passed again.

And Then You Told Me...

"You've already won me over inspite of me.
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet.
And don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are,
I couldn't help it, it's all your fault."

*Yes, Buddy :)

After yesterday, what's done is done.
No regrets, whatsoever.
Thank you --for being firm on this one with me.
Your message came right on time.
2009, here we come :D

Resolution

No need for New Year's resolutions and stuff like that.

Live. Just live.
Love? Yeah, that one, too. Just love.
And do everything, even the simplest of things,
with dignity and pride.
Serve others with joy.
Help friends who are in need.

I dunno.. Just be good.
I guess?
Yeah, I guess that's it.

And oh, choose to be happy.
And commit to that choice.
Yeahmeeeen!

Haha. Crazy year ahead. Let's goooooooo! ;)

No Looking Back

No more looking back ;)