Not In the Best Condition

Right now..
Well..
Old habits? They die freakin' hard.
And honestly, it sucks that I always catch myself going back to how I used to be every time I feel that I cannot handle things properly.
I escape to how I used to be.
Do things to somehow escape reality.
Do things to emancipate myself from my own doing's slavery.
Work is well, trust me, it is.
Everything else is well and I am grateful.
But I am flawed.
And it dawns on me.
The result?
I crawl back to the me that I used to be.
I have no better way of dealing with my being perpetually stained.
Right now, I'm flying.
Out here. Into a place where all is well --better than how it really is.