Butterfly Effect

Butterfly effect is the concept that explains that what we do or say today will have an effect on a lot of things later, tomorrow, next year and forever. Well, this is not the exact definition of course but it's something like this.

Whatever we choose to do or say today will have an effect on our lives and the lives of others whether we intend to do so or not. So choose wisely. Always.

Oh.

I remember Iceman.

?

I would like to believe that being what I am and actually deciding to live my life as I am, I have certain privileges that a usual person (girl) would not have.

Ideally, a couple would marry, have kids (or vice versa), raise the kids until they can stand on their own and then, as a couple, do whatever they would want to do.

Now, since I will not have kids and marry, I will be jumping straight to the last step which is to do whatever I (or KD and I) would want to do. This is a privilege, an advantage. But what do I do?

It's great that I do not necessarily have a guide book to follow but it's also hard to figure out how I should go about things.

Free as I may seem, I feel even more trapped as those who have something to follow.

Tell me.

Nobody is as unfree as he who believes that he is actually free.

Does this make sense?

...

I think I should be doing more in my life now.

I'm not so sure whether I am where I am supposed to be.

One minute I'm so sure, the next minute I have no idea.

I wanna get away and do something else.